Grand / Grounded

This post was written by guest writer, Naomi Kuo, a ReNew York Ambassador and Visual Artist in Houston, TX.

Hi, my name is Naomi and I am a visual artist who’s been learning about making art in a socially engaged way—in other words, art that has a direct impact on people, social systems and/or physical environments, often including collaboration or co-authorship. I draw, paint, sew and make collages; I also organize gatherings where people come together to share skills and to celebrate the beauty of their communities. 

I began my journey of making “impactful art” with good intentions: to use my talents to serve people. I didn’t want to focus on selling art in galleries, but I also wanted to do more than just parachute into community-service like projects. I went to grad school for social practice art, and I stretched myself to try a lot of different things, including facilitating a quilting group, collaging with Chinese grocery packaging, and documenting people’s connections to their neighborhoods. 

However, as grand as that all might sound, it’s left me a bit lost.

Maybe I was already prone to self-doubt, but amidst all the activity I was plagued by a nagging feeling that I was falling short. Unlike some of my colleagues, I didn’t have a strong cause or policy-oriented goal. And even though I talked about community a lot, in truth, I didn’t have that many close friends nearby. Bonds that formed over my projects were temporary, and research activities could not replace years of relationships. 

Then I got a full-time arts administration position. Responsibilities piled up and I had few hours and little energy left over for making art. And then of course the pandemic hit, with the lockdowns, ambulance sirens, and headline after headline of bad news. I had been going at a pretty fast pace for years, trying to learn and achieve as much as I could—to prove my worth underneath it all, if I’m honest. And in the midst of that storm, my old ideas and ambitions couldn’t hold.

So at the end of 2021, I moved out of New York City and “back” to Houston due to some family issues.

Being an in-person family member again, I face different kinds of obligations and constraints. And I do fret about what the future holds, in terms of employment and art. However, I now have more space to build a better foundation of personal health and interconnectedness that I hope can sustain my creative work moving forward.

It’s taught me all over again: Artists are whole people, not just making machines. And in acknowledging my own needs and grounding myself in daily responsibilities, in treating myself like not just an artist, but a daughter, friend, and neighbor, I know the things I make will be different as well. 

Creating from a place of humility, not grand purpose, is helping me to grow. Down on the ground, I’m finding my way. I’m curious what kind of art will emerge, and I think I’m more able now to stick around and see.