Signs: God sent me a dove

I don’t usually get terribly sentimental about my birthdays. I love that people feel like there’s this special symbolism of a fresh start and leaving the past behind, but for some reason, I have a hard time buying into it myself. 

But–maybe it’s just because of how relentlessly difficult the past couple years have been, and how physically trapped by different health struggles for the past eight months–coming out of my surgery recovery right when my birthday hit this year, I felt it. 

A new year. A fresh start. 

This sense was heightened by my birthday falling on Pentecost this year. In the church calendar, Pentecost is the day the church received the Holy Spirit - a radical shift in religious reality, where God sent His Spirit to live within ordinary people instead of in a place only accessible by a few anointed priests. 

This felt like a sign, a promise that this year would mark new beginnings for me, and new levels of intimacy with the Lord. 

So when I was given a physical sign beyond that, I was primed to receive it well.

I was alone for a couple hours reading in my hammock, when I heard a little rustle of feathers. A dove had alighted just beside me on our patio. I froze, imagining he would notice me and fly away at once. But he did not. He didn’t fly away when I started to whisper quiet prayers, or when the hammock creaked, or even when Amy opened the door and stepped out onto the porch as well and the door slammed closed behind her.

Was he sick or injured? We got him some water and some oatmeal to eat. After a long stretch of waiting, I watched the dove drink water, then left him outside, hoping he’d feel secure enough to eat alone. When we came back, we couldn’t find him, and in the morning, we double-checked, half-afraid we’d discover him dead in some corner of our porch. But the dove had regained his strength and flown off!

As soon as I felt relieved, a black swallowtail butterfly appeared out of nowhere and flew in a circle around me. It was huge! The size of my hand! 

I felt like God was saying to me: “You were right; this was a sign. This was for you.” 

Biblically, a dove has two important associations. The first is the promise of new life, following a long stretch in an ark surviving a horrific flood. The dove was the sign to Noah and his family that new beginnings awaited them. The second association is with the baptism of Jesus, when it is said that the Holy Spirit descended upon him in some visible way, “like a dove.” 

These ideas kept floating around in my head, but I couldn’t shake the idea that I should call a friend of mine to tell her about it. 

Turns out, her church had recently done a sermon about how to live a life open to the Holy Spirit. The whole time, they talked about it in terms of “How to be a landing place for a dove.”

As soon as she said this, the Holy Spirit within me leapt. This was why I’d needed to call her, I knew. This was what I needed to hear.

She also pointed out two other important things: the butterfly was a symbol, too, of new beginnings and new life. And the fact that I’d cared for the dove was a sign that God was inviting me to deliberating cultivate my relationship with the Holy Spirit—not a bad sign that something was sick or wrong, as I feared! (The dove rested and was well; I've seen him several times since.) In getting to care for him, I was being invited to participate in the Spirit’s resting on me, to delight in it and love it and want more for the Spirit’s work in my life. 

I thanked her, hung up, and began to sing a song of praise.

I am a place where the Spirit delights to rest. What an absurd privilege that is! 

In some quiet moments in my ordinary little life, God saw fit to orchestrate all these signs to tell me: This is a new beginning, and there is new life for me, and I can care for that and participate in it intentionally. 

Have you ever wondered if you’re receiving a sign from God about something? I hope sharing my own process of discernment can be an encouragement or help to you: look for confirmations and repetitions, check the Bible first for symbolic meanings, and when in doubt, phone a friend!

Art is full of messages and intentionality; so is God’s creation surrounding you. What might He be showing you?