Self-Love: Seeing the Image of God in Yourself

Have you ever had a friend beat themselves up for doing something you know you’ve done before?

Have you ever had a skinny friend try to save half a meal for later, but keep picking at it because she’s still hungry but “has been bad lately”?

Or have you ever had someone explode at you with long-held frustration…when you thought you were getting along great?

Self-hatred doesn’t only hurt you; it hurts people you love.

When someone beats themselves up for canceling plans, I immediately wonder if they resent that time I had to cancel plans with them. 

When a small friend doesn’t eat food, I start to feel self-conscious. Do they think I’m eating too much too? If they’re disgusted at themselves, am I just a gross cautionary tale?

And when a beloved person has been angry for days, but hates being angry so they keep suppressing it until they burst–I don’t escape unscathed. I become the scapegoat. All that hatred they have towards their own anger lashes out at me for “making” them angry.

But of course, it works the other way too. Sometimes I’m the one hurting others through self-hatred! When I hate my depression and anxiety, I can lash out when someone asks me how I’m doing. When I hate my limitations, I can lash out at the person suggesting I take on less. 

Self-love isn’t a hollow feel-good sentiment. It’s actually a critical component of loving others.

But let’s be real; self-love is hard. I mean, how into myself am I supposed to be? Am I supposed to feel a romantic kind of high about myself? Bursts of good emotion and spontaneous smiles when I look into the mirror?

What if, instead, we remember that love is an action? 

Love is a movement towards connection–even with yourself! Regardless of how you feel about yourself, you can move towards yourself in love. 

This is something I’ve been working on a lot. And I’ve found that some simple, accessible love-actions are acknowledgement and self-compassion. 

Acknowledgment is the nonjudgmental, neutral way of seeing and accepting something. 

Your stomach is a stomach; it digests food to give you energy. Your anger is here; you can feel it. Your tiredness stops you; you can’t keep doing things. 

From there, acknowledgement helps us move to self-compassion. If you set aside judgment and see something neutrally, you give yourself space to react compassionately. 

If you acknowledge your stomach, you can choose to appreciate it. “You work to help me have energy to do the things I need to do. Thank you.”

If you acknowledge your anger, you can approach it with curiosity and compassion.  “I think I feel angry because they said something that I didn’t like. Even if they didn’t mean anything by it, it’s okay to feel angry.” And you can take a deep breath and allow the anger to pass like a wave. 

If you acknowledge your limits, you can help yourself manage responsibilities. “I’m not a machine, so I can’t do everything. But I can do this one thing.” 

Speaking compassionately allows you to reconnect with yourself. And when the fog of self-hatred passes, you can see and speak kindly to others too. 

Acknowledgement and self-compassion are ways to see the image of God in ourselves.

We know it’s wrong to speak mean words to other people, so why do we think it’s okay to speak mean words to ourselves? 

It’s easier to see someone else’s humanity. It’s easier to see their faces, their feelings, their humanness, and know that they are valuable and precious. But if we, too, are made in the image of God, shouldn’t we at least acknowledge our basic humanity too?

“So God created mankind in his own image,
in the image of God he created them;
male and female he created them.” – Genesis 1:26

God is an artist; that means you’re an artwork. He does not to crumple you up and throw you away, he wants to keep developing you. 

“being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 1:6

We were imagined, designed, intentionally crafted. We were shaped out of dust and given the breath of life. We are called masterpieces by God (Ephesians 2:10).

So not only should we love ourselves for the sake of others, we should love ourselves because it is the only way to respond to an image-bearer.

Self-compassion honors God. It honors the love with which he made you.

Maybe you won’t always feel love for yourself. Maybe you won’t always have a romantic view of your body and feelings and thoughts.

But maybe you can figure out some small ways to move towards yourself. Draw a little closer to yourself, acknowledge what’s going on, and let yourself feel compassion, the way you might for a friend. 

I think God’s given me ways to see myself from the outside in my younger sister. When she is ashamed of her body or her feelings or her limits, how do I try to respond to her? Do I want to deprive her and punish her, or come alongside and help her?

It’s easier sometimes to see her–to see what’s really going on, what she needs–and to respond with love. 

Maybe you could see yourself today.

And see that you are made in God’s image.